Ah, the million dollar question to which everyone has an answer for. Men might say sex, babies, and kitchen. Hell, even some women may say this. Scientists would say babies. Feminism would say “Whatever the hell they want to be good for!” What’s the correct answer? What if I said all of them? Let’s face it ladies, we women were made to have sex with men and populate the earth. That’s our main purpose. Scientifically speaking. And before you get your panties in a wad, remember men were made for that too: have sex with women and impregnate them so they could populate the earth. Now lets’ move onto socially speaking. Way back in the day before my existence the ideal family was the husband going out to work and providing for the wife and kids while the wife stayed home, maintained the household, and made sure everyone ate. This has been the arrangements for the longest time. Now you may say that gender roles are degrading and women should be freed from them but then that means men should be too right. Now before you say yes, lets consider what men giving uo their gender roles mean. Sorry housewives, get off your ass and work. Oh and protect yourselves. Most police officers, soldiers, firefighters, etc. are men. That car you’re driving: man. That road upon which the car is driving: man. I could go on and on but I hope you get the picture. Men’s gender roles consist of provider, protector, inventor, and much more. Women’s gender roles are having babies and maintaining the household. I think the issue feminism has is that unfortunately that is all women are valued for. But you can only be valued for what you and contribute and for centuries, babies are what women contributed to society. If women want to be valued for more than mothers, then they must contribute more than motherhood. I, however, think being a fantastic and loving mother is he best contribution of all. All the famous inventors, musicians, etc. who are mostly men came form a woman. Thank you Mozart’s mother!



The Million Dollar Question


“So stick by his side I know there’s dudes balling and yeah that’s nice And they gonna keep calling and trying but you stay right girl And when you get on he leave your ass for a white girl” Now why do you question women’s loyalty? No matter how good of a significant other we are, we will still be replaced by another model right? So why not get what we can while we can. Also, O think a woman’s loyalty to a man is connected with her financial need of him. Meaning that is he’s her only or biggest source of income, she’s less likely to stray. Of course, this is my opinion and no absolute research has been done. But there’s much more to this Kanye West line than meets the eye. This is about black women and how no matter what, we’re always going to lose. Especially when competing against white women. You think I’m exaggerating? Kanye’s ex Amber Rose is as equally if not better looking than his wife Kim Kardsahian, yet he felt the need to trash her like their two years together meant nothing. Amber Rose can be identified as black and is considered black royalty. She is lauded by black men for her light skin and curves. Nonetheless, she is still black. Black women do not give black men a sense of accomplishment as white women do. No matter how successful or rich a black man is, that money won’t make him feel complete until he has some eye candy he can show off and be proud of. SO where does this leave black women? Honestly, I don’t know since I’m still figuring things out myself. The purpose of my blog isn’t to make anyone feel better or offer advice. I’m merely stating how I see the world. It is up to you, the reader, to decide what you want to do with what you’ve read.

Just a random thought


F you Society!

See how easy that is? If you don’t like society pressuring you to do something, just put up both of your fuck you fingers. Given my recent blogs, I’m mostly referring to societal pressures or expectations placed on women regarding our appearance or sexual activity. I’m too fat? Fuck you. My boobs are too small? Fuck you! I should wear heels? Well they hurt my feet so fuck you! I don’t like sex as much as men? Fuck you! I like sex too much? Fuck you! The minute you stop caring about what others think of you, pressures go away. Like magic. But don’t stop being the best you can be. I think we should care what our bosses think because well they pay us money and money makes this world go round. Now I know what question is brewing in your mind. “What about men”? Personally, I don’t think appearance should matter all that much. Now I’m biased since I’m at a disadvantage when it comes to my looks if it matters. I don’t wear make up unless my mom makes me. The same goes for heels. Right now, I’m financially dependent upon my mom so I can’t exactly say no but once I get that one bedroom apartment made for me, myself, and I———-hello big t-shirts, sweatpants and sneakers! I don’t want you to get the idea that I hate men. That wouldn’t be farther from the truth. Its just that I think what they consider important in a spouse isn’t important. Now I can see how this can be seen as hate but it isn’t. It’s preserving my emotional health and well-being. And turning myself into something I’m not or want to be isn’t healthy for me emotionally. I’m prepared for the consequences of my actions. No dates, lonely nights, and Vampire Diaries. I’m already there. And yes, sometimes its very hard to not want that special someone with me. But I know that special someone has conditions that I don’t want to meet. Am I happy being this way? God no. But I was thinking about what it would be like to be in a relationship and reading online taught me that women have to sacrifice a lot in order to make a relationship work and that doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t think I’d be happy in a relationship either. Honestly what makes me happy is being away from pressure and expectations. I turn my lights off in my room, snuggle up in my blanket and watch TV. For that while, I’m free. I don’t have to go outside and smile and be nice. I’m just me. Whoever in the hell that is. Television is very dear to me. It helps me escape my own life and run into someone else’s. It’s definitely a sickness but its one I don’t care to cure.



Don’t talk like one of them. You’re not! Even if you’d like to be. To them, you’re just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they don’t, they’ll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it’s a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They’re only as good as the world allows them to be. I’ll show you. When the chips are down, these… these civilized people, they’ll eat each other. See, I’m not a monster. I’m just ahead of the curve- The Joker

Now I bet you’re wondering if I have some deep philosophical purpose for Heath Ledger and I like the psychopathy and mystery of the Joker. I like crazy men. There, I said it. Well no I shouldn’t say that because technically I don’t like them but I can’t help being  the joker’s quote. Haha. Nope. Simply, I think the joker is hot. Partly because I know under all that make up is the late but nevertheless handsome to them physically (sexually). Another example would be Loki from the Thor. Holy crap! Now there’s a morally ambiguous character. You don’t know if he’s trying to take over the world or is hurting because he never felt like he belonged. 😢 But there’s another reason for my and many’s attraction to ‘crazy’ characters. How special would it feel if an insane person did a complete 360 just for you. His feeling for you are so powerful that it makes him want to change his life. Ooh how about this? You’re even more special because he’s a total jerk to everyone else but you’re a queen in his life. I can just picture it now. Can someone say romance novel?!


Oh oh and I guess you can pull something philosophical from this quote. People are at their best when they need something. Their true colors show when you can’t fulfill that need. I like to guess what the joker’s history is. I think he symbolizes the truth of human nature. That’s why he can adapt to any surrounding.

Let’s talk about psychopaths the joker’s quote. Haha. Nope. Simply, I think the joker is hot. Partly because I know under all that make up is the late but nevertheless handsome the joker’s quote. Haha. Nope. Simply, I think the joker is hot. Partly because I know under all that make up is the late but nevertheless hands


Marilyn Monroe may have been onto something

A wise girl kisses but doesn’t love, listens but doesn’t believe, and leaves before she is left. -Marilyn Monroe

Are you surprised by who said that? The perfect bombshell who could get any man she desired? The woman who still has men groveling at her feet?  Why would she say this? Well, I think Marilyn Monroe knew what men liked while at the same time realizing the truth about them. Her legacy points out what is really about: looks and that won’t change. The most women can do is play the game and milk it until they’re time is out meaning they get older. However this can be done without winding up bitter and lonely. You see, many women believe men will give them the emotional satisfaction they are craving and as long as they believe it is there, they will continue searching. Ant they continuously get broken hearts. What women should realize is that the problem isn’t with them but there is a much bigger picture out there. And they compose of the other gender. Men are incapable of giving what Nicholas Sparks or Titanic gives us. And it might be sad when you first realize this but ultimately it can lead to a much happier life. I wouldn’t call myself a feminist because I’m not trying to change people. I would advise women not to only play the game but play by their own rules. The new Marilyn is Kim Kardashian and she’s got it right. Almost


My background

Since this is my first blog, I’d thought I open up with a little bit of my history. It all began 17 years ago in a very popular city (I won’t say because it’s none of your business). I created this blog to vent and hopefully reach other (girls) like me. If you can’t tell by now, I may be a bit bitter. Rightly so? I’ll let you be the judge. For starters,  I’m black so that’s one point already against me. Another point is that I’m not that caramel mocha black like Beyoncé but black like a television screen. Beginning in the third grade, other kids had no trouble pointing my skin color out. Boys and girl equally. I didn’t worry about it so much from the girls because frankly why in the hell would I care about what they think? It’s the boys who I wanted to like me. The majority of my school life consisted of mostly black classmates. The bullying for black men (yeah I know don’t forget the girls) lasted until freshman year of high school whin is when I attended my first mostly white school. Not one person especially the guys made fun of me. They ignored me but I’d rather that than being taunted constantly. Something happened freshman year: my attraction to black men ceased to exist. Since then, I can only get a lady boner for white guys (and other races besides black). I think I have an explanation besides the  whole black men bullying thing. You see, like most black kids, I grew up without a father. At two, he came out of the closet and walked away (I do think my father’s abandonment is not completely his fault but I’ll save that for another time). Of course my mom struggled with me. Secondly I had a drug addicted numb of an uncle who caused me to lose everything  and be homeless for a year. Mix that with the taunting, no father, and the black men you see walking around today and I hope you understand. Well this has been a brief overview of my history. Oh and my grandfather divorced my grandmother, left her with nothing, and married a younger white woman. 😡