My background

Since this is my first blog, I’d thought I open up with a little bit of my history. It all began 17 years ago in a very popular city (I won’t say because it’s none of your business). I created this blog to vent and hopefully reach other (girls) like me. If you can’t tell by now, I may be a bit bitter. Rightly so? I’ll let you be the judge. For starters,  I’m black so that’s one point already against me. Another point is that I’m not that caramel mocha black like Beyoncé but black like a television screen. Beginning in the third grade, other kids had no trouble pointing my skin color out. Boys and girl equally. I didn’t worry about it so much from the girls because frankly why in the hell would I care about what they think? It’s the boys who I wanted to like me. The majority of my school life consisted of mostly black classmates. The bullying for black men (yeah I know don’t forget the girls) lasted until freshman year of high school whin is when I attended my first mostly white school. Not one person especially the guys made fun of me. They ignored me but I’d rather that than being taunted constantly. Something happened freshman year: my attraction to black men ceased to exist. Since then, I can only get a lady boner for white guys (and other races besides black). I think I have an explanation besides the  whole black men bullying thing. You see, like most black kids, I grew up without a father. At two, he came out of the closet and walked away (I do think my father’s abandonment is not completely his fault but I’ll save that for another time). Of course my mom struggled with me. Secondly I had a drug addicted numb of an uncle who caused me to lose everything  and be homeless for a year. Mix that with the taunting, no father, and the black men you see walking around today and I hope you understand. Well this has been a brief overview of my history. Oh and my grandfather divorced my grandmother, left her with nothing, and married a younger white woman. 😡